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There are many reasons you may want to use one of the many outdoor cooking methods for your meals. Maybe you are going camping or you just want to grill outside in your backyard. Whatever your reason for using the outdoor techniques for cooking you need to understand what a few of them are and how they are can help you cook the proper type of food for you and your family.

You can choose from grilling with a few different types of grills to cooking over an open fire. It all depends on what you want to cook and why you have decided to cook outside. Below you are going to find a few different ways for cooking outside to choose from.

1. Gas Grill Cooking

One of the most popular methods of cooking outside is with a gas grill. This grill will take either natural gas or propane, which will be your main source of fuel for cooking. You may want to supplement the gas heat with wood chips so you can get more flavor since you are cooking with gas.

There are many advantages you will get when you cook with gas. It is one of the most convenient ways to cook because all you have to do is uncover your grill, flip a switch, and start cooking. It barely takes 10 minutes for your grill to get hot enough to cook on and compared to other outdoor cooking methods this is very fast.

Another great thing about cooking with a gas grill is the cleanup. It is very easy to clean a gas grill because there are no ashes or mess from charcoal dust or wood. You can let your grill stay hot for ten minutes after you are done cooking and scrape it down a bit and you will be all set. The heat will clean the grill on its own quite well.

The only downside to cooking with a gas grill is that you are going to taint the flavor of the food you cook with the gas a little bit. This doesn’t bother most people and you can use wood chips to help give your food a bit more flavor. If you use wood chips make sure you soak them in water for a while before you put them on the grill.

2. Charcoal Grill

A charcoal grill may be a better way to cook if you don’t want to taint the flavor of your food. There is nothing like getting that good smoky flavor into your food from the grill. Plus charcoal grills are much cheaper than gas grills because they are much simpler. There are many benefits to using a charcoal grill.

You can still use wood chips to help add flavor to your food and if you get the right tools you can light the charcoal and be ready to cook in about 20 minutes. This is a great way to cook outside if you don’t want to use gas, but you want to grill out anyway. You can lock in the great smoky flavor by using a charcoal grill and in most cases it is not as expensive.

Clean up is a bit more strenuous than using a gas grill, but most charcoal grills will have a way that you can dump the dust and ashes pretty easily. This is not much different than unhooking the tank from a gas grill every time it needs to be filled. You will have better tasting food with a more natural flavor with this outdoor cooking method.

3. Over an Open Wood Fire

If you are camping or you have a fire pit in your backyard another choice would be to cook over an open flame with a wood fire. This can allow you to keep the food tasting wonderful and cook in many different ways. You can take advantage of cooking things like cobblers in a Dutch oven or cooking many other dishes with the tools that are made for cooking over an open fire.

When you are camping and you are using a fire to cook most of your meals you can boil many things with simple pots and pans that are made for cooking. However, there are also tools that will allow you to build a pocket style sandwich and put it into the fire to cook. This is great for a pizza type of sandwich or anything else that can be toasted.

Many campers prefer to boil most of the food, but with an open fire you can roast marshmallows, hotdogs, and many other foods with a simple skewer that is long enough to put into the fire without burning your hand. There are many tools to help you cook food while camping and the most natural way to cook outside is over an open fire.

The outdoor cooking method you choose will have a lot to do with what you plan to do with your food. If you are simply cooking outside in your backyard choosing a grill type and cooking is much different than if you are camping out. Campers need more equipment and they have many choices for the tools they can use to cook over an open fire or even with gas burners.

If you want to keep your food tasting as natural as possible you will want to avoid using gas and stick with an open wood fire or charcoal. This is also the way you want to go if you are going to be smoking some type of meat. The smoky flavor comes from the charcoal or the wood you are using and if you use gas it will taint the flavor of the meat you are cooking.

It is up to you what type of cooking you want to do outside and if you are looking for something that is convenient and fast, then a gas grill is the best choice. However, if you are after flavor and you are not concerned about saving time you can either use a fire pit or a charcoal grill for your outdoor cooking needs.

If you want more helpful cooking articles like this one, check out our website’s blog. We also provide great information about food processor reviews and how to choose the best food processor for baby food.

This is a touchy subject when it comes to community access television. After all, usually our audiences are moms, dad, guardians, babysitters or teachers of children, and if not, they probably are related to children in some way. And almost everyone loves children. So, what do you do with children in the community access television productions? No one wants to alienate anyone who brings babies or children inside the building but everyone wants everyone to be safe and secure once inside the building. So this article is to spread information that will keep babies and children safe and secure while inside of any studio building. Before I get deep into this topic I should discuss what the children are doing there, in the studio building. Children are in the building for these reasons (For one, some or more than one of these reasons):

• Sometimes the talent, guests, hosts or co-hosts are children, teens, or young adults.
• Sometimes the children are audience members.
• Sometimes the children are there with their adults who are producers. The producers are doing their own shows or helping other producers in the other producer’s shows.
• Sometimes there might be children of staff or administration present.

Any or all of the above can be possible. Now that I have listed the reasons why children, teens or young adults are in the studio, I can get down to the basics of what happens, and what you might want to do if children appear on your reservation time.

There are many shows, a large number of shows, that have children as talent and active participants in main parts of the show, so we welcome babies and children into the studio, as long as the babies and children are well-supervised at all times. This ensures their safety and security. So, whether the children are talent, invited guests, or producers’ children, we all have the safety and security of babies and children as our first priority. Everyone inside the studio building must be safe, or there will be no successful television production possible. A production with injury or loss is not successful. So, with success in mind, I will go on to talk about babies and children inside of the studio buildings. So, this article is not stating that children, teens and young people should not be inside the studio, but clearly stating that there are places that are not safe for babies and young children, so most Executive Producers do not want to see children in these places that are or could cause injuries to any young children. Injuries could be caused by heavy equipment, electronic equipment and also by strangers who might have entered the building. So to avoid these injuries, the best thing to do is to have children supervised at all times when children are in these places inside the studio building. So, by following these instructions, all children should be safe and supervised inside any of the studio buildings, no matter what borough you live in.

• When you bring children inside the studio building, know and remember that you are responsible for these children. The other producers, staff, interns, guests, volunteers, hosts, co-hosts or talent are not responsible for any babies, toddlers or young children that you bring inside the building. Knowing this and remembering this will help you to keep them supervised and safe while you visit the building. Many people forget this because there are so many people around. It is easy to take your eye of a child while some other adult is speaking with the child or paying attention to that child.
• Know that the Security Guard is protecting your child when he or she tells you that your child is not permitted inside the conference room or permitted inside any other area of the studio building without constant adult supervision. That makes good, common sense. Many strangers come into the building at all times of day. You would not expect to leave your baby or child unattended with a stranger, so you are not going to leave your child unattended with strangers in the conference room, or any of the other areas of the studio building. While all this might seem like unnecessary rules to you because you feel comfortable and safe in the studio building, these are necessary rules for babies and children since the studio is not a place that was designed with babies or children in mind. So, leaving any baby or child unattended in any area of the studio building is like inviting a baby or child into a factory and leaving them alone. No reasonable parent or guardian would do that. So, if anyone reminds you that children need to be supervised, kindly take that as a friendly gesture that is helping to protect your child from injury or loss.
• If and when you bring babies or children inside of the studio area (where producers tape shows), be alert that no one brings liquids inside the area. These liquids ruin equipment and the equipment is extremely expensive to replace. Besides being a financial responsibility, any liquids that come in contact with any of the equipment causes a possible electrical or fire danger to anyone nearby. Liquids and electricity has never ever mixed well when it comes to any electrical, camera or sound equipment. One of the reasons for the dressing room is so that parents and producers have a place to enjoy their meals, drinks and other snacks while they are at the studio building.

How Parents and Guardians Enjoy the Studio Experience:

• Wait (with babies and children) in the waiting area (usually near the Security Guard). This keeps all babies and children in full view of the Security Guard. Even though you are still fully responsible for their safety, the Security Guard adds another measure of safety, just be being there. (Most strangers will not bother or abduct babies or children while a uniformed Security Guard is present).
• When it is time to go into the conference room, have your babysitter watch the children outside the conference room while you are inside the room. If the child is older and responsible, they might be able to come into the conference room. Just ask the Executive Producer and there should be no problem with that. (You will need to pre-arrange this with the Executive Producer so he or she is aware that you are bringing babies or children into the building).
• Once you leave the conference room or the lobby area, bring all babies and children with you, wherever you go. If you go into the rest room, bring them there, unless you have a babysitter watching them somewhere else. If you go into the dressing room, bring them there. Do the same as you would do with your babies or children in any business situation.
• Be alert, and have your child’s safety first in mind. Yes, the show must go on, and everyone works to make the production a success. But you, as the parent or guardian, have a job first, and that is your child’s safety and security. (Yes, I know you have that in mind always. But I mention that because being inside the studio is such an exciting experience for some babies and children, that it can sometimes be overwhelming to them. And this alone, can cause some babies and children to want to explore areas that they have not seen or been in before.

By following those ideas, all babies and children should be able to safely experience the television production process and shows. With safety in mind, that makes everyone happy. No one would want to put any baby or child in any danger, so following these ideas definitely makes the show run smoothly.

What Dangers?

• Dangers of strangers inside the studio building. Anything at all is possible. So, know that there might be strangers inside the studio building. Even though everyone signs the security books upstairs and downstairs, everyone entering the building is usually a stranger to your child. You do not know their background, where they come from, how they live or even what they are in the studio building for.
• Dangers of electrical exposure, fire hazards and things like that. The studio room has numerous electrical outlets, and all sorts of heavy, moveable electrical equipment, throughout the studio.
• Moving hazards, most studios have robotics cameras that are controlled from inside the control room. So a baby or child could see this camera (robotic) moving all by itself and they might go over and try to handle, touch or move the camera. This causes great danger to the baby or child as these cameras are extremely heavy and can fall onto babies or children inside the studio area. This is one reason why parents and guardians must supervise babies and children at all times inside the studio building.
• Heavy doors leading into the studio area and into other areas of the studio, control room, and dressing room. Any or all of these doors can close on little fingers causing great danger and hazard.

False Sense of Security:

This is very important. When producers and other people come into the building with children, they usually feel very comfortable because everyone is very friendly. They feel comfortable too, because they think that they know everyone. Feeling too comfortable here with babies and children is having a false sense of security. You need to feel like you are in a public building — which the studio is in a public building (one that anyone from outdoors can walk inside of ) . One of the reasons that some parents and guardians feel safe inside the studio building is because they know most of the people entering the building. Most are either friends, relatives, or co-producers, or producers they have worked with before. There are staff members, volunteers and interns that work there too, and most might be familiar with them also. However, there are, at times, complete strangers in the building. Hundreds of different people might enter the studio building during any given week (depending on the studio where you are). Some of those hundreds could be people who do not belong in the building. They might be people who belong in the building also, but still strangers, like plumbers, electricians, locksmiths, computer repair people, and any number of others that might enter the building. There have been people who have entered the building by mistake. They were looking for another building. So, not everyone that you see inside the studio building belongs in that particular building. I am not saying that the building is unsafe. What I am saying is that the building is not safe for babies or children who are left unattended. You would not leave children unattended out in the world, so it makes sense that babies and children are not left unattended inside the studio building.

What Is In The World Is In the Building:

Knowing that what is in the world is inside the building, that might open anyone’s eyes as to the many reasons why we (as producers) ask parents and guardians to supervise their babies and children once they are inside of the studio. What is in the world? Look around your outside world. Almost everything that is out there can be inside the building. Why? Because there are people inside the building and those people are from outside the building. There are all kinds of people with all kinds of values and all kinds of backgrounds. The world is a magnificent place and it is also a place where babies and children should be supervised. Ask yourself these questions:

• What if people are discussing an adult topic? Do I want my children to hear this?
• What if people argue? Do I want my baby or child to be around this?
• What if two people begin fighting? Will my baby or child be in danger?
• What if a large piece of heavy equipment falls, will my baby or child be protected if they are there unsupervised?
• What if there is an electrical problem, will my baby or child be safe if they are unsupervised?
• What if a fire breaks out, will my baby or child be safe if they are unsupervised?
• What if an expensive equipment fails or is broken while my child is around unsupervised? Will I be responsible?
• How will a studio experience be for my baby or child if they are left unsupervised in the building?
• What if my baby or child is unsupervised, and I can not find them in the studio building?

If you ask yourself those questions then you will know why producers insist that babies and children have constant supervision at all times once inside the studio building. And many of those things have happened inside of different studio buildings in our own cities. They might not have happened while babies or children were around, but they have happened. Some reading this might think this article is too much or too restricting but supervision can never be too much when you are talking about having babies and children in an industrial-type area. Yes, there are times, when babies or children are needed in the studio area. They might be part of the show or they might even be the entire show! So, knowing this, you see that I am not trying to restrict the admission of babies or children inside the building but rather I am simply writing an article on how to keep babies and children safe and secure when they are in the building. All babies and children who are guests, hosts, co-hosts, audience members, and children of producers are welcome inside the building provided they are supervised at all times. So, knowing that, I invite you to thoroughly enjoy your studio experience, now that I have placed these few reminders out to the public in this article.

I am hoping that everyone reading this takes the article in the spirit that it is written, entirely for safety first for babies and children inside the building. I warmly welcome everyone to the studio for my own productions, including babies and children (with proper constant supervision). There have been many occasions where some producers have brought children to the show and they were properly supervised and they were a great asset to the show. I invited them back again. So, it definitely goes without saying that some of our shows are enhanced by the children’s presence.

Security:

Our particular building does have wonderful security guards who take care of what needs to be taken care of. Thank God for that. One of the things that does make producers and visitors feel secure is that our studio has uniformed security guards at the desk, and they have proven that they can handle any situation that arises. So, know that the studio has provided a means for safety, and that you need to help them out by being responsible for your own children or for the children that you bring inside the building.

That is all I have to say, for now, about the experiences of being inside the building with babies and children. I welcome any comments, questions or criticisms from my readers.

Certified television producer, artist, writer, collage-artist, and creative individual with many years photography, press and publicity experience. She has covered national and International events as an independent journalist and artist. She shares information, helpful hints and resources with the readers on a variety of topics including television production, art, photography, and psychology.

Many parents joke that they are going to have to take out a second mortgage to pay for college, but what about for overnight camps? What are the costs and is it worth the benefit? We help send our kids to college because we know that this investment will help them secure better-paying jobs and a brighter future. For a camping experience, however, is it worth it?

For some of us, camp was one of the most cherished growth experiences in our childhood and we feel the gift of camp is one that we will bestow upon our kids no matter what the cost. For those of us who did not grow up as campers, we have to decide what all the buzz is about and make a determination if we can afford it or not.

As a former camper, counselor and teen tour leader, I believe that camp is a priceless gift that you can give your child (of course, as long as you find the right fit). Camp experiences pay off in all sorts of “emotional intelligence” dividends: self-esteem; self-reliance; self-awareness; empathy; the ability to listen, cooperate and share; self-control; the ability to wait in line (delayed gratification). Research shows that developing these skills leads to greater success in school and deeper and healthier relationships. And these early, positive growth experiences are fairly good indicators about our success as adults. So, now that you are convinced that camp is all it is cracked up to be, how much does it cost and how are you going to pay for it?

Types of camps. There are two types of camps: agency camps and private camps. There is a pretty big price differential between the two. If cost is a concern, agency camps – like YMCA, JCC – make camping much more affordable. They can do this because they are subsidized by agencies, therefore making your summer tuition less. You can expect to pay about $500 – 650 a week.

Private camps are not subsidized, so the camper is paying for all of the costs to run a camp: insurance, staff, equipment, capital improvements. In the Midwest, you can expect to pay between $750 – $1000 a week for a private camp. In Missouri and Southern Illinois, private camps are a little cheaper because they do not offer the extensive water sports, like sailing and water-skiing, like camps in the Upper Midwest (Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan).

Discounts. There are other ways to save, as well. At most camps, early enrollment discounts are offered. So, if you do your homework early enough, you can take advantage of this discount. In addition, if you are trying to provide a camping experience for more than one child, be sure to ask for a sibling discount (assuming that one camp can suit the needs of all of your children). Lastly, if you are looking at camps on the East or West Coast, be sure to ask for a “Midwesterner’s discount.” Our camps in the Midwest are traditionally less expensive (if you can believe that after looking at the costs of camps).

Extras. When budgeting for camp, you should also ask the program director about extra costs such as optional activities, spending money, special clothing and equipment, or trip insurance. A camp may offer horseback riding, but is there an additional cost for participating in this activity? When your son or daughter goes to the camp store, do they have an open-ended account or is there a set amount? If it is open-ended, you will be the one responsible for that bill at the end of the summer so you should have a conversation with your child about proper spending. If there are out-of-camp trips, you should find out whether or not those are included with your tuition.

Scholarships. Almost every camp – private or agency – offers some amount of need-based “camperships.” Jewish Federations, church groups and YMCAs give out scholarships for camp. Many private camps have foundations to send needy kids to camp which, besides being a good thing for those kids, help to diversify their population. Most camp directors are altruistic, giving individuals that would like to see every child in a camp. Some camps even give “scholarships for life.” So, once a child qualifies, they are promised that scholarship for however long they attend that camp. For older kids, there are programs like Summer Search (summersearch.org) whose aim it is to send at-risk youth to leadership development programs like wilderness trips.

Camp is a wonderfully enriching gift you can give your child. If you want to send your child, there is probably a camp out there to welcome them. Happy camping!

Jenny Wolkowitz is the Midwest consultant for Tips on Trips and Camps (http://www.tipsontripsandcamps.com). In her earlier years, she was a day camper, an overnight camper, a counselor, a teen tour participant and a teen tour leader. She currently serves as Chairperson for local day camp and on the board of many community organizations.

Children may feel the same feelings when they grieve as adults, yet their responses can be very different. In addition, every day through the media, images of death, loss, grief and violence are presented to not only adult eyes, but also the vulnerable eyes and hearts of our children. Adults barely have the tools and experience to process what they see intellectually and emotionally. Imagine how the younger and more vulnerable among us deal with this!

In addition, children are deeply affected by natural disasters, such as Hurricane Katrina. Not only do the children who have faced this storm directly need immediate consideration, but also those who are safely in their homes in other parts of the country need to be tended carefully. Because few have maps or experience dealing with the challenges they witness in others’ lives–and because many parents feel ill-equipped to guide their children through traumas such as Katrina, or the death of a loved one–change is scary.

Yet if adults can’t figure out how to handle change, how can our children move through their journeys of loss and change?

Loss and grief force inner and outer changes to take place in all of our lives, yet in a way we can direct. We can learn to use the energy of change not only to bring healing, but to encourage wholeness in a child’s physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional being.

Let’s look at ways parents can help their children deal with death, loss and grief, close to home as well as far away.

Dealing with Common Experiences

All children who encounter grief and change process them differently. But some feelings and experiences are common to almost everyone.

Infants, for example, don’t intellectually understand changes around them, but they sense changes in their life situations physically, emotionally, and spiritually. To assist infants in directing the energy of change, give them reassurance through your touch. Talk about what has happened. Act with a consistency to support the routines they know. Mostly, they need to know they can count on your support, that you’ll keep them safe and take care of their needs.

Supporting Toddlers in Crisis

When dealing with the idea of death, toddlers and young children through age five don’t understand the concept of permanence. They repeatedly ask when a deceased person will return. Children at this age learn through repetition and play, therefore they need you to patiently tell them over and over what has happened.

Many people make the mistake of using phrases such as “gone away,” “resting,” “sleeping,” and “taken to heaven,” which can confuse and scare children. It’s best to be as honest as you can with them. Include them in as much of the process as they care to participate in.

Children go in and out of grieving in a rhythm that follows their inner needs. If you notice them regressing behaviorally, that means they’ll likely benefit from more, rather than less, structure, including dependable routines. In addition, supply them with various play materials such as paper and art supplies, clay or puppets. Help them use these materials to work out their feelings and thoughts.

Supporting Older Children

Children aged six through ten begin to understand the permanence of death, yet they don’t want to acknowledge it. Like younger children, they may also desire to know literal and physical facts about illnesses, dead bodies, and disposal of bodies, though they won’t directly ask. It’s important to be honest and direct when explaining details. Again, find out “where they’re at” in their understanding of the situation. Once you do, give them only as much information as they require.

When in their pre-teens, children are in a transitional place of understanding and expressiveness. Peer pressure has begun to rear its weighty head; an inner battle concerning independence and vulnerability is raging. These children experience many conflicting emotions and their feelings of grief can certainly be confusing. Giving them honesty, support, and “space” to process the changes on their own are essential. Perhaps you can provide a journal, an age-appropriate book, or a support group of peers if they’re open to it.

Dealing with Mature Teens

As teens mature, their ability to grieve with their immediate families usually decreases. They tend to take their feelings and concerns to peers or to a trusted adult such as a pastor, teacher, or uncle. They could display more acting-out or risk-taking behaviors than younger children. As with the other age groups, it’s important to be honest, show your own feelings and vulnerability, and provide lots of love and support.

Guilt, a difficult emotion at any age, can be particularly evident in mature teenagers. Gently probe to see if they’ve attached guilt to the grief they feel. Provide reassurance that all their feelings are normal. Most of all, let them know that they did not cause the loss. Even very young children can have the perception that they somehow caused the event leading to the loss.

Each Child is Unique

This brief summary indicates a few common developmental differences in grieving children of select age groups. However, because each child is unique, understanding death and grieving varies from child to child.

Remember, grief is not an illness; it’s a normal response to loss. And most children move through their grief journeys without significant problems. But when grief becomes complicated by factors such as addictions in the family, traumatic death, history of abuse, multiple losses, and minimal family or community support, then children may require professional help. Also, the grief of a larger community, such as a nation focused on the aftermath of the hurricane, presents additional conflicting emotions. Engage your child in a discussion about what they see on tv, what their peers and teachers have said about the events, and most importantly, what your child thinks and feels. Ask questions without trying to ‘make it better.’

If a grieving child exhibits persistent destructive behaviors, prolonged depression or withdrawal, debilitating somatic complaints, or excessive anger, consult a grief professional. In fact, these guidelines apply to any loss–whether it involves a death, a move, a separation, a divorce, or a serious health challenge.

Be Sure to Talk With Them

Grief is a subject that often gets avoided or handled fearfully and briefly. As a parent, educator, and counselor, I encourage you to talk with your children about their loss or the ones they view in the media. Discuss what changes will result in their lives because of a loved one’s death or events in the world as completely as you can. If you provide structured education, children will learn to handle future loss and crises with confidence rather than fear.

Also, be sensitive to cultural differences in dealing with death and other losses. Remember, there is never “one way” to teach or do anything

Take Care of Your Own Needs

In your role as teacher, counselor, or parent, it can be easy to ignore your own needs. Naturally, you feel genuine concern about the welfare of children faced with a difficult loss, but your own feelings about life-changing events are just as important as theirs. If you don’t allow yourself to process them, you’ll be a less effective role model for your children.

In particular, take time to face your own discomfort about talking to the children about death and grief. If you’re aware of unresolved grief issues from your past, seek a trusted person with whom you can discuss your feelings. Look at this as a great opportunity to do some “inner housekeeping.”

Tools and Tips

Here are some ideas to guide you:

1) Breathing exercises go a long way to reduce the stress of loss and change. Breathe in . . . breathe out . . . aah.

2) Remember, it’s okay to show children that you’re grieving, too. Admit your own confusion, anger, or sadness about the situation; this gives them permission to feel and grieve themselves. When you show children how you take care of yourself during difficult times, they learn life-affirming ways to deal with crisis and change.

3) Have the children tell their stories. They can do this with words, pictures, or dramatization. You’ll find that it’s healing both to tell our stories and witness others’ stories.

4) Have children do sentence completions and then discuss what came up. Examples would be: “I wonder what…” or “I wish I could… ” or “I need you to know that . . . ” or “The hardest thing for me in my life right now is . . . “

5) It’s important for children to remember that they aren’t alone. A lot of help is available. Encourage them to think about all the things and people they consider to be their resources. Then have them make a picture or map of these resources using crayons, pastels, pencils, and markers. This map can contain favorite activities and people, pets, even spiritual helpers. It becomes a valued reminder and symbol of where they can turn when they feel low.

6) Due to circumstances, sometimes children don’t have the opportunity to say goodbye to their pets when they die. It’s hard for anyone to grieve without having a chance to say goodbye. Have your children write a letter to the pet or person who is gone, or ask them to draw their “goodbyes” if they can’t write them.

7) Encourage your children to draw their feelings or make a collage that represents death, loss, or change. They may prefer to write a poem about death, compose music, or make up a feeling dance.

When grieving, it’s important to balance the sadness, anger, and fear you feel with thoughts about the good things in your life. The same is true for children. Have them list all the things they feel grateful for.

9) Assure your children that the children directly affected by the hurricane have loving adults helping and watching over them. Let them know that you will do all in your power to keep them safe and that you have a plan in case something unexpected happens. Then make sure you DO have a plan.

10) Sometimes children feel badly about themselves during times of major change and loss. Have them make a collage of what it means “to be human.” Encourage them to depict positive and negative feelings as well as behaviors, which helps them see how a “whole person” looks. Discuss the fact that everyone grows and learns as a result of change.

11) Children, like adults, often fear what’s ahead. It’s easier to acknowledge and work with fear when they can “see” it, instead of putting their efforts into hiding it. Have them sculpt their fears with clay or another medium.

12) Help children understand that they have choices about what they think and say, and how they react and behave. Reinforce the idea that these choices determine what they get throughout their lives.

13) Children and adults feel helpless when faced with situations out of their control. Our natural tendency is to want to help those in dire need. Allow your children to help in some way. This will give them the feeling of being useful, and it helps them to grow their compassion. Ask them if they have any ideas, and if they don’t, you can make suggestions: collecting donations from friends, family, at school or in the neighborhood; making bags with needed items included–they could also write a personal note of support to include in each bag; organizing a fundraiser; collecting donations for the rescue of pets; getting their schoolmates to write poems, letters, drawings, songs, etc with donations; and of course, prayer. Have them visualize love, light, and hope being delivered to victims and their families with their prayers.

Listen Deeply

When you’re with children who are grieving, your primary resource is a good ear. That doesn’t necessarily mean your physical ears; it also includes your emotional, mental, and spiritual ears. Listening deeply helps you be present with them and pick up on their cues. It goes a long way toward healing–for everyone involved.

Beware. If you simply “go at them” with your knowledge about the grief process and impose “grief activities” on them, you risk losing their trust through poor timing. Know that with good tools, your ability to listen both to the children and to your own intuition, you’ll be guided to help them have a positive, even transformational, experience.

Marcia Breitenbach is a licensed psychotherapist, and author of The Winds of Change: A Guided Journey with Healing Music through Grief, Loss & Transformation and its accompanying CD of original healing songs. Visit her at [http://www.griefandlosshelpsongletter.com] and get your free report and free downloadable, inspiring songs.

How to positively handle almost any child throwing a tantrum and have them all smiles within 60 seconds.

To fully understand why tantrums occur and how to reslove them quickly you should read the entire article. 22 years of teaching guitar to children and adults has taught me far more than I would ever have imagined. Most of all I have learnt much about how both adults and children learn and interact. This article will cover some of my findings and will be focused on tantrums. To help present you with as much useful information as possible I would like to use as many examples of real life situations that I and teachers face every day. By using real life examples I believe you will be able to relate your situation and see how I and others overcome each challenge in a positive way.

Firstly let me say that working with children is a skill. Our knowledge of children comes mostly from our own experience which has been passed down from our own parents, relatives, friends and society at large. As with any skil if you were lucky enough to be surrounded by good teachers and mentors as a child might advice may be obvious to you but for the majority of us it is something we need to learn. Although the skill of parenting and teaching initially require the same skills teaching a child and parenting a child are not the same thing.

Children are not adults

Children are not that much different to adults but they are different. We need to understand the differences when working with children. If we treat children as little adults frustration may be the result. Would you give a 4 year old the keys to the car and expect them to know how to drive? Silly question I know yet many adults expect young children to respond and behave like an adult. We have all seen and perhaps been guilty of yelling at our child for not behaving while out and about. We say things like. “Stop that. How many times have I told you not to…..” We get frustrated because our 4 year old seems to be ignoring our requests. So we must firstly remember children are not adults.

Different yet the same

Of course there are differences between each individual child but we are of the same species. So as with any species there will be many responses to stimuli that are the same. There is also learned cultural and social behaviour along with genetic factors. Most of what I will talk about will apply to the large majority but may not work in certain situations with certain individuals. Some children have learning disabilities that are outside the scope of this article.

Adults are teachers

We are all good at teaching children to some degree. Children look to adults for information on how to act and respond to situations. So whether you like it or not if you are around children you are teaching them. Children learn from our behaviour more so than our words. You only have to see how little boys want to grow up to be like their Dad or little girls want to dress up like Mum. My 4 year old nephew expressed to me on a recent visit how he wants to be a truck shiner when he grows up. “A truck shiner” I said. What do you mean? It turns out his Dad is a truck detailer. But this act of following adult behaviour runs very deep. Children can and will adopt many of your behaviours. So here is my first suggestion.

Start with yourself.

Be the person you hope your child will grow up to be. Don’t tell them to be a certain kind of person. Be THAT person yourself. Live by example. Let me give some examples;

Diet – If you eat a certain diet your child will most likely follow you. How often do we hear people say “My Mother’s cooking is the best”.

Smoking/Drinking/Gambling – Children of parents who smoke, drink or gamble have a greater chance of adopting the same habits themselves.

Career – Children will often take up a similar career to a parent or in some cases will take up a career related to an interest or passion one parent has. I have played guitar professionally since I was a child and this stemmed from my Father’s passion for guitar even though he didn’t play himself until later in life.

Health – We often end up with similar levels of health as our parents not so much because of genetics which is of course a factor but largely because we follow the eating and lifestyle habits of our parents.

Stress – A great example I see so often is that of time and money issues that lead to high levels of stress. As adults we find ourselves often trying to make ends meet. This leads to stress.

I have been teaching guitar for more than 20 years and I often hear from parents that they would also like to learn guitar but they are simply too busy. This would be okay if they are busy doing what they love. The problem arises when they are busy doing what they apparently ‘have to’ to make ends meet. If you find yourself in this situation then it is important to realise you are teaching your children to follow. Ironically parents will often be working hard so their children don’t have to.

There is a famous song called ‘Cats in the cradle’. The song lyrics describe the life of the writer and his relationship with his father. There are basically two sections to the song. The first part describes how as a young boy his father was always too busy but promised him they would spend time together soon. Soon never came. When he grew up and his father had finally retired the father was ready to spend time with his adult son but the tables had turn. The son had become like the father and was now too busy to spend time with his father but always promising they would get together soon. This was a very sad account of a father and son but not uncommon.

The list goes on and the evidence is undeniable. The argument of nature verses nurture is not one that needs to be won because we are all aware that both play a role. The good news is the nurture side is in our hands.

The mind of a child

This is a tough one for most adults because we forget what it was like to be a child. We are not children and therefore cannot see the world from their perspective. Even if we could remember it is only a memory of our own childhood and not our present reality. Many adults try to teach children as if they were adults. Teaching a child as if they were an adult just doesn’t make sense to them. Teaching children requires an understanding of how children think and respond.

Children respond to repetition

The adult mind is looking for new experiences. Most adults will watch a movie or a TV show once maybe twice. A child can watch the same movie 100 times or more. I can have a running joke with a child for months. The same joke would not be funny to an adult after the third time. The trick is to use repetition to your advantage. Let me use an example. If you want to teach your child to count you only need to make up a game that involves counting and do it everyday for fun. Your child will learn to count in record time. The biggest challenge for music teachers of children is often parents. Teaching children music requires playing the same song hundreds of times. For parents this drives them crazy but children are happy to do it again and again. A common request from parents is ‘Can my child learn a new song?’

Children need rules

Everything is relative. The world seems to shrink as we get older. To a baby the world is not even comprehensible. Their world consists of their home, the car and maybe the local shopping center. As they grow their world expands. Perhaps as they begin to walk their street and the local park become their world. When they enter school the suburb becomes their world. As they age the city, country and beyond become their world. For this reason their imagination of the outside world begins to run wild. A child needs to know their world is in order and the adults in their world control the events for the most part. A child who lives in a world without limits and boundaries becomes insecure. This can be a difficult concept for adults to understand. Especially adults who feel there were too many rules during their own youth.

Children seek security

Children need to know who is who in a given situation. They work out who are the adults and who are the children. Their natural instinct is to seek security. This is perhaps nature at work. Children are the most vulnerable and need to be aware of all possible threats. The problem is they still don’t know the real world. Much of the world comes from their imagination. Adults have a much better understanding of what is real. Adults can defend themselves for the most part and their understanding of possible threats is reasonably clear. Children rely on adults to be their protectors and connection to the unknown outside world. Adults provide the security or not as the case may be.

Who is the boss?

Adults often seek approval from children so will often begin by befriending a child. This is fine if there is a protector present but if you are in charge of the child the situation will be very different. The child will at some point begin to test you. They want to see if you are in charge. They will use various strategies to see if you are up for the job of protector of their universe. Here are some examples;

Cheeky or rude comments – They know which words or phrases overstep the mark. By overstepping the mark they can see how you react. If they get away with it they will take it further.

Argumentative – They will debate you. Again testing the boundaries.

Tantrums – Many children know that tantrums will get them what they want because adults want to avoid a scene. If it works once they will do it again and again and again.

Children react to adults

Some adults like to believe that children are good or bad and we adults have no control over them. This is especially true when they are other people’s children. I often hear teachers say things like ‘That child is a nightmare and impossible to work with’. The teacher dismisses the child as a problem child and places them in the too hard basket.

Many teacher’s will claim that the student or parent is fully responsible for their behaviour. They do not realise that the child’s behaviour is very much in their control when in their care. This is not their fault because very few teachers or adults for that matter are trained in child behaviour. Teachers may know the information they wish to share but child behaviour is a very different subject. In effect a teacher of children must know two things. How to control child behaviour and of course the subject they are teaching. Being a guitar teacher in my case I began at age 19 years with a knowledge and skill of guitar but with no real understanding of how to control child behaviour.

Adults who were forced

This is a common issue for many adults. I use the example of the child who was forced to learn piano as a child and hated it. They grow up and look back on the whole experience as a very dark period in their childhood. But there is a misconception here. They believe the problem was being forced to learn something they did not want to learn. I believe the problem has nothing to do with the fact they were learning to play piano and has everything to do with the negative emotions attached to the events of that time. Their parents were most likely not presenting the whole experience in the right way. This resulted in family feuds and a lot of bad memories. The way it usually goes is parent decides to enrol child for piano lessons. Child is happy to go along for the ride at first. Parent is spending money and therefore wants results. Parent tells child to practice. Child doesn’t want to practice. Parent gets angry. Child gets upset. The rest is history.

So where did this all go wrong? There is a critical point in this process that makes all the difference between a child who practices and one who does not. When a child begins to learn the parent must set up the routine. A child will rarely establish routine practice by themselves. Think of it like teaching a child to take a bath or get dressed or clean their teeth or make their bed. The key is consistency. Parents are often not consistent about their child’s practice. As adults very few of us would allow our children to go a week with out cleaning their teeth or taking a bath. I cannot ever remember someone complaining about how their parent’s forced them to clean their teeth or take a bath. Reason being, they were consistent.

Human behaviour is predictable

Let me use dogs as an example. Put almost any dog in a car and wind down the window and they will stick their head out of the window. Why? Because that’s what dogs do. Go to a movie or a concert and most people will aim to sit about half way back and in the middle of the row. They are trying to get the best position of course but still it is predictable human behaviour. Fact is we humans as with all animals are predictable. Children are of course very predictable but what is even more predictable is the way parents or adults respond.

Predictable child behaviour

So children seek security. They do this by testing the adults who are protecting them. They test adults by pushing the limits. If a child is able to push the limits and get away with it they enter new often unexplored territory. This makes them feel insecure because there seems to be no boundary. They will continue to push the boundaries until they find the limit. Let me use crime as an example. What we class as crime is only a crime if society says so. In one country what is consider a crime may be regarded in another country as acceptable. If a child learns to steal at an early age without consequence it is likely they will continue. The reason most of us are not thieves is because our parents and society in general make it very clear that stealing is not acceptable. So with behaviour so predictable it is very easy to get children to act and behave in a positive way.

The magic of consistency

Humans thrive on consistency. Many of the most successful human endeavours are the result of consistency. Think of Olympic athletes who consistently turn up for training or students who consistently study or business people who consistently open their doors. The list goes on. Consistency is actually part of human survival. Consistency allows us to see what is predictable. Our chances of survival increase if we know what is predictable. Even animals respond to consistency. The behavioural scientist Pavlov show this with his famous experiment. He rang a bell just before giving the dog food. After several times the dog began to associate the bell with food and would salivate before the food even appeared. By creating a consistent relationship between the bell and food the dog would behave in a predictable way. Children respond to consistency. If you want a child to do anything then do it consistently. Set up the routine and their behaviour will become predictable.

Children with learning disabilities

There are of course always exceptions. Some children will have learning disabilities such as autism or ADD that are simply out of your control. In this case you should do as much as possible to research and learn about their condition so you can find the best strategy for teaching them.

Working with ADD – The most common challenge teachers will come up against is ADD . I have had many students over the years with varying degrees of ADD. I would go as far as to say we all have some degree of ADD. Children with serious ADD will not be able to focus for any length of time. This affects their ability to learn. If say their concentration span is 2 minutes any concept that takes more than 2 minutes to explain will be lost. I like to keep things simple. I use a two pronged approach.

Work at increasing their concentration span – Let’s say they have a 2 minute attention span. I set their goal at 3 minutes. I make a big deal of it. Clapping and shouting out “Hooray!” when they make it to 3 minutes. This slowly increases their concentration and in most cases works. If it fails you need to focus more on option 2.

Work within their concentration span – If it’s 2 minutes give them exercises or explanations that can completed in 2 minutes. Break everything down into bite size pieces.

Bringing out the best in children

What we want for any child first and foremost is a sense of security. All children come with a history but the end result if you use the correct strategies is a happy child who is more than willing to learn. It does not really matter what the history of a child is because you cannot change the past. You need to work at giving the child a sense of security when they are with you. I have a simple strategy that works almost every time. This strategy requires you to be patient, consistent and confident. The reason it works is simple. We are human and humans respond to certain situations much the same.

The strategy for optimum child learning

This strategy will be so simple you may find it difficult to believe but I guarantee you it will work on most children.

Be consistent – Let’s say you want a child to go to bed at 8pm on the dot every night. Do it every night at the same time. Have a set routine and DO NOT waver. Regardless of how much they fight and cry and scream at 8pm it’s off to bed.

Acknowledge good behaviour – All children want to be noticed. If you make a big deal and respond positively to good behaviour (E.g. going to bed at 8pm) they are more likely to want to do it again.

Time out – When children misbehave and resist your requests you need to give them time out. Time out is often necessary when a child is use to getting their way. In other words they are use to winning.

Tantrum time

So far I have given you an understanding of how children think and respond to a range of situations. Now it is time to tackle the big one. Tantrums. A tantrum is just extreme behaviour. A young child is not physically capable of doing much else. Almost all children discover the tantrum at some point. For the child a tantrum is often initially a build up of emotions. They begin by wanting some control over their situation. When they are unable to get control they get frustrated. The frustration usually comes from the fact that they believe the object of their desire is just out of their reach. Imagine there was a cake sitting on a kitchen bench and it was just out of their reach. At first they try to stretch out their arm but once they realise it they cannot grab it they will become frustrated which leads eventually to an emotional outburst. Once you give them the cake they instantly stop and are all smiles. But this unfortunately is not the result we are looking for. What we want is for the child to stop instantly without receiving the cake. We want them to deal with this emotion in another way. If the cake becomes the diffuser they are heading for a difficult adulthood. So let us begin with the strategies for avoiding tantrums without the need for cake so to speak.

Time out

Time out is an interesting one. It is a very predictable human behaviour. Time out must be done correctly. In most cases it needs to be demonstrated because it is mostly in the delivery. If you are not serious about your delivery children will quickly pick up on the fact and it will be ineffecteive. The whole idea is the child must know they will not win so they may as well deal with it and play by the rules. If a child knows there is a boundary that cannot be crossed they will soon give up. Conversely if a child knows they have a good chance of winning the will persist to the point of a tantrum.

A typical example of a child tantrum

I will use a fictional child named Mary. Now Mary is out shopping with Mum and has spotted the ice cream shop. The conversation goes something like this.

Mary – “Mummy I want an ice cream”

Mum – “Not today. May be next time”

Mary – “No I want an ice cream now”

Mum – “I am sorry Mary but you can’t have an ice cream now. How about we have a look at the book shop”

Mary -”No! I hate books. I WANT an ice cream. If you don’t buy me an icecream I will get very angry”

Mary begins to get upset and angry. Mum does everything she can to try and distract her and calm her down but Mary is getting more and more worked up and begins to cry and even scream. Mum also is getting frustrated and even a little embarrassed.

Mum – “Stop it Mary. You are embarrassing me. I am sick of your screaming. You always do this. You always want to get your way missy. Well not his time. If you don’t stop it we are going home now”

Mary continues her crying and screaming and Mum realises the only way to stop Mary’s behaviour is to either give in and buy her an ice cream or drag her home kicking and screaming. Either way is a bad result.

There is a better way.

First of all remain calm. Depending on the age either pick them up or hold their hand and take them to any place where they can stand safely. Ask them to remain there until they are ready to behave. Walk away but stay within sight. Now just wait a few minutes. Keep your eye on them but avoid eye contact if they are looking at you. After about 2 minutes walk back and crouch down to their level and ask them “Are you ready to behave?” At this point they will either be ready to behave or they will need more time. If they need more time say “I will be over there when you are ready” and walk away again. Three times if necessary. Finally when they back down ask them if they understand what they did wrong and ask them to apologise.

The routine should be consistent each time. This is a time out process. Time out for a child gives them a chance to deal with their emotions. You are literally teaching a technique to calm themselves down when they get upset. You are also teaching them that throwing a tantrum will only ever result in them getting time out. You send them a clear message that when they are with you they need to act and behave with respect for your rules.

When you master the above technique children (especially young children) will literally go from a tantrum to a happy child within a minute or two. I will do this with children I am working with an their parents think I have performed some kind of magic. It’s no magic. A child’s behaviour is simply predictable most of the time.

I hope this article has been informative. Remember it is action that is required. Please come and visit my blog for more proven strategies on working with children either as a teacher. http://howchildrenthinkandlearn.blogspot.com/

If you have any questions or need advice on working with children please feel free to contact myself at g4guitar@bmpmusic.com.au

David Hart has been teaching guitar for over 20 years and playing since 1980. David’s experience with young children is extensive. David now owns and operates a chain of guitar schools across Sydney. David also advises many other music schools and teachers on how to work with children in terms of learning music. In the field of guitar education there are few teachers how would have more real life practical experience than David. David’s key to success is what he calls his research approach to teaching. This means he treats his lessons like a research project constantly looking for what works verses what does not. This research also includes keeping up to date on the findings from around the world. David’s gift is simplifying what he knows so it can be applied and understood simply and easily. To contact David please feel free to email him at g4guitar@bmpmusic.com.au

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